Sexual Intimacy | Song of Solomon | Week 3

1. What is one way you have felt “known” by someone or by God recently? If the word “known” is weird for you, think of a moment when you felt seen or understood.

2. In Song of Solomon 4, the man is poetically describing the woman and then he says in verse 7, “You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” We’ve previously discussed in this series how the Shulammite woman did not meet the objective standards of beauty in her society. What impact would these descriptions and final statement have on this woman and her self-worth?

3. Read 2 Corinthians 5:21 in light of Song of Solomon 4:7. Theologians call this the “great exchange” – the act of Christ taking our place on the cross so that we are considered completely righteous. Without blemish or flaw! Compare what the Shulammite woman felt to what you feel when thinking about God, because of Christ, seeing you without blemish or flaw.

4. Read Psalm 139:23-24 aloud together. How can you allow God to search your heart this week? How will you share your heart or thoughts with someone else?

5. Pastor Dusty mentioned that intimacy starts with friendship. What is one way you’d like to bring friendship back into your marriage this week? If you’re not currently married, what is one way you can be a friend to someone this week?

6. One of the themes of this series is that God loves us and wants us to flourish. This matters for our congregation and our community as a whole. How will you make a difference in your neighborhood/work/school and show someone else that God loves them and wants them to flourish?

As we are talking about intimacy this week, the spiritual practice of confession may be a wonderful practice to try this week. Intimacy comes when we are honest, transparent, and humble. The practice of confessing brings us to greater intimacy with God and with others. 

St. Alphonsus Liguori writes, “For a good confession three things are necessary: an examination of conscience, sorrow, and a determination to avoid sin.” This week, try moving in these three areas:

• Spend time in God’s silent and loving presence and invite him to show you areas where you may need forgiveness and healing.
• Sorrow is a way of taking the confession seriously. In this space, we realize how we have offended the heart of God. This may not primarily be an emotion, but emotion may be involved. 
• We ask God to increase our desire for holy living and determination to avoid this sin.

Maybe just start practicing confession with God this week. If you feel like you can take one step further, see if there is a safe mentor or Christian brother/sister you would be comfortable trying corporate confession with and working through these three areas with.

Try taking some of the language from this Psalm and praying this back to God.

“I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found; surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him. You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance.”
Psalm 32:5-7

Regardless of your marital status, we all need intimacy. Both intimacy with God and intimacy with others. I recognize there can be a lot of hurt and hurdles around intimacy. Some of you are bound to your homes due to chronic pain, accessibility issues, or health issues. And some of you are going a million miles an hour 24/7 and you probably are stressed reading this thinking about something else you could be doing! 

But each of us can take a step further into intimacy with God and with others. What is your next step God is asking you to take? Maybe it’s spending 20 minutes alone with God. Maybe it’s calling someone and just asking questions about their life. Maybe it’s inviting someone over for tea and sharing something God has shown you lately. Maybe it’s scheduling an hour with your spouse to talk (without a tv or a phone interrupting)! I believe God is asking us to take one step closer to intimacy with him and others. Write down your next step and obey his voice this week. He longs for intimacy with you. And he longs for you to experience intimacy in the body of Christ – your church!

Blessings,
Lydia Long