Laws of Attraction | Song of Solomon | Week 1

Sermon Notes

Laws of Attraction | Song of Solomon | Week 1
Pastor Dave Pretlove
Song of Solomon 1:1-7

1. Physical attraction matters. 
  • Song of Solomon 1:1-3
  • Proverbs 5:18-19

2. Physical attraction alone is not enough. 
  • Song of Solomon 1:3
  • Proverbs 31:30

3. Before attraction takes over, decide in advance what your non-negotiables are.
  • Song of Solomon 1:3-7

4. Before attraction fades, decide intentionally to cultivate and give opportunity for it.

5. Our longing for romantic love is a gift and a shadow of a greater love.

Group Questions

Song of Solomon helps us see what God values and calls us to reflect on the loving nature of God. How have you experienced the love or intimacy of God recently?

Read 1 Peter 3:3-4 aloud. Peter is addressing wives in this context and yet the application can be for us all. What are ways you’ve tended to focus on the external?

Pastor Dave brought up a few different ways Song of Solomon has been interpreted. One is that this book is an allegory due to a discomfort with sexuality and the body, influenced by a Greek philosophy called gnosticism/dualism. Gnostics/dualists would generally say that spirit is good, and matter, including the physical body, is evil. How do you see this view in light of Scripture?

We would all do well to spend more time on becoming attractive and less time dwelling on the attractiveness of others. What are some ways you can be more comfortable with yourself and in your own skin? This could be physical but don’t stop there – think about your emotional, spiritual, and mental health as you reflect on this.

One Bible commentary said, “Reading this collection of love poems, one might easily think that this is primarily a book about falling in love. Instead, it is much more accurately seen as a book about building love.” Consider ways you can build love – whether that’s in your marriage or even with a friend, neighbor, or in your LifeGroup.

This Sunday, we talked about how our longing for romantic love is a gift and a shadow of a greater love. How can this group help you take another step toward Jesus this week and experience the love of our Shepherd King?

A Spiritual Practice To Try

This week we’re focusing on the intimate love of our Shepherd King and specifically talking about attraction. I wonder if we can all take a step in the spiritual practice of worship this week to connect with that intimate love.

Dallas Willard writes, “As we worship … giving careful attention to the details of God’s actions and to his ‘worthiness,’ the good we adore enters our minds and hearts to increase our faith and strengthen us to be as he is.”

Take a small step in worshiping God this week. Here are some ideas of what that might look like for you:
  • Choose not to listen to music or a podcast on a walk this week. Talk to God and look for pieces in the nature or humanity around you that lead you to worship. 
  • Think about a part of your day that is an established habit (brushing your teeth, taking out the garbage, unloading the dishwasher) and make the intention to worship God at that moment. 
  • Take a part of Scripture with you throughout your day and reflect on it (sticky note in your car, an index card in your pocket, maybe a screensaver on your phone). Not sure where to start? Write down Revelation 4:11 and repeat it back to God.

A Prayer

“O Lord, who has loved us and saved us, come and dwell in our hearts. Give us love, the sweetest of all gifts, which knows no enemy. Implant in our hearts pure love, born of Your love for us, that we may love others as you love us.”
Saint Anselm of Canterbury, via Evelyn Underhill’s Prayer Book


The Gospel Coalition Online Bible Study 
Knowing the Bible: Song of Solomon, a 12-week practical study series written by Jay Harvey

Podcast | FamilyLife with Pastor Tommy Nelson 
Podcast episodes about attraction, conflict, intimacy, and dating.

Video | Bible Project Book Overview of Song of Songs/Solomon 
This video gives an overview of this Hebrew love poetry that depicts the beauty and mystery of one of God's gifts to humanity.

Something To Think About

From a quick glance, these two sermon series may feel disjointed – Hungry and then Song of Solomon? The more I think about it, the more I feel like Hungry leads us to Song of Solomon so well. We just spent three weeks praying and fasting for an increased hunger for God, for community, and for making a difference. We should be experiencing some of the passion and hunger for a renewed sense of God’s presence.

And now we’re diving into a book all about experiencing God’s presence in an intimate way. Like Pastor Dave said on Sunday, “a Shepherd King whose beauty never deceives, never fades, and he desires a relationship with you.” That is the God we’re hungry for.

When talking about Song of Solomon, Dr J. Vernon McGee wrote, “God uses the very best of human love to arouse us to the wonderful love He has for us. This love song can lead you into a marvelous, wonderful relationship with the Lord Jesus which you probably have never known before.” Use the last three weeks of prayer and fasting to lead you to the love and intimacy of our Shepherd King.

Lydia Long
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