Day 13 | Many Advisors

As I’ve had many talks about community over the years, I’ve heard many sentiments like, “I just want to find that one person that I can really share my life and struggles with.” or “I really want that best friend I can always rely on.” I don’t know if we’ve just watched too many Disney channel movies or what, but we seem to have this underlying notion that deep community means one to three very close friends. Specifically, one “BFF” and maybe a couple “close 2nds” so we can all do a weekend trip to Tahoe, or … go hunting with if you’re a guy? Not sure what you all do together!
I’m not sure that’s an accurate view of a healthy community. Or at least, ought not to be the standard we’re seeking or striving for. I’ve run across some studies showing that “weak ties” can be stronger overall than “strong ties” and more research is being done on this concerning happiness and mental health. People may tend to be happier and have a greater sense of belonging when having multiple weak ties, rather than only a few strong ties. In my only 31 years on this earth, I have already witnessed the strong tie “BFF” relationships tending toward co-dependency and unhealthy behaviors. Specifically, serving with middle school girls, you can quickly see how one close relationship going wrong can fully disrupt a student’s life and faith! But even as adults, I wonder if having a healthy balance of friendships is better for us as well.
When we need to make decisions, whether small or large decisions, we turn to our community. When we only turn to one person, we may be missing a whole variety of perspectives and people who hear from the Lord in different ways. Proverbs 15:22 says “plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” When we have many connections who are able to speak into our life, we have a greater sense of what wisdom may look like. We can have a bigger picture and have multiple godly perspectives that speak to our situation.
I’m not advocating for having a bunch of surface-level relationships with 100 people. What I would encourage you to do is look up and above and around yourself. I wonder what “weak ties” may be around you that you can cultivate, grow alongside, and share a new perspective with. Who can you open up to today? Who can you share a piece of your life with? Who can you ask for help? I think you may find you can have stronger ties with your weak ties than you previously thought!
Ask God to give you the courage to look around your already-established social circles. Pray that he would give you fresh eyes to see someone that you can take a step of vulnerability and open up a deeper conversation with.
Blessings,
Lydia Long
I’m not sure that’s an accurate view of a healthy community. Or at least, ought not to be the standard we’re seeking or striving for. I’ve run across some studies showing that “weak ties” can be stronger overall than “strong ties” and more research is being done on this concerning happiness and mental health. People may tend to be happier and have a greater sense of belonging when having multiple weak ties, rather than only a few strong ties. In my only 31 years on this earth, I have already witnessed the strong tie “BFF” relationships tending toward co-dependency and unhealthy behaviors. Specifically, serving with middle school girls, you can quickly see how one close relationship going wrong can fully disrupt a student’s life and faith! But even as adults, I wonder if having a healthy balance of friendships is better for us as well.
When we need to make decisions, whether small or large decisions, we turn to our community. When we only turn to one person, we may be missing a whole variety of perspectives and people who hear from the Lord in different ways. Proverbs 15:22 says “plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” When we have many connections who are able to speak into our life, we have a greater sense of what wisdom may look like. We can have a bigger picture and have multiple godly perspectives that speak to our situation.
I’m not advocating for having a bunch of surface-level relationships with 100 people. What I would encourage you to do is look up and above and around yourself. I wonder what “weak ties” may be around you that you can cultivate, grow alongside, and share a new perspective with. Who can you open up to today? Who can you share a piece of your life with? Who can you ask for help? I think you may find you can have stronger ties with your weak ties than you previously thought!
Ask God to give you the courage to look around your already-established social circles. Pray that he would give you fresh eyes to see someone that you can take a step of vulnerability and open up a deeper conversation with.
Blessings,
Lydia Long
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2023
January
Don’t Waste Your Year | Week of January 1stFasting and Prayer ResourcesWhen You Feel Like You Need A Comeback | Week of January 8thFamily Resources | Week of January 8th21 Days of Prayer & FastingFamily Resources | Week of January 15thHow Is My Appetite? | Hungry | Week 1Day 1 | Hunger Produces ActionDay 2 | Praising God For His MovementDay 3 | Revealing With Dulls My AppetiteDay 4 | Delighting In The LordDay 5 | Constant Access To Living WaterDay 6 | Approaching God Without FearDay 7 | Enlarging Your Capacity For LoveFamily Resources | Week of January 22ndHungry To Love And Be Loved | Hungry | Week 2Day 8 | Contagious CommunityDay 9 | Designed With Desire And Need For CommunityDay 10 | Unity Is Not An Optional StrategyDay 11 | Desiring For Our Neighbor's GoodDay 12 | Community As ProtectionDay 13 | Many AdvisorsHungry To Make A Difference | Hungry | Week 3Family Resources | Week of January 29thDay 14 | Where Do You Take Your Watering Can?Day 15 | Created To Make A DifferenceDay 16 | To Cultivate And Keep It
February
Day 17 | Good WorksDay 18 | A Community Of Civic BenefactionDay 19 | Vision and DirectionDay 20 | Divine PotentialLaws of Attraction | Song of Solomon | Week 1Family Resources | Week of February 5thDay 21 | Koinonia ContributionDating | Song of Solomon | Week of Sunday, February 12thFamily Resources | Week of February 12thSexual Intimacy | Song of Solomon | Week 3Family Resources | Week of February 19thFighting Fair | Song of Solomon | Week 4Family Resources | Week of February 26th
March
Making Love Last | Song of Solomon | Week 5Family Resources | Week of March 5thThe Kingdom: This Is What You Want | Week of March 12thFamily Resources | Week of March 12thJesus Shows Us What Real Love Is | Why Did Jesus Die? | Week 1Family Resources | Week of March 19thJesus Died To Set Us Free | Why Did Jesus Die? | Week 2Family Resources | Week of March 26th
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Digging Deeper | Week of May 1stFamily Resources | Week of May 1stFamily Resources | Week of May 8thDigging Deeper | Week of May 8thImago Dei | Digging Deeper | Week of May 15thFamily Resources | Week of May 15thFamily Resources | Week of May 22ndThe Others | Digging Deeper | Week of May 22ndFamily Resources | Week of May 29th
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Family Resources | Week of September 4thFamily Resources | Week of September 11thFamily Resources | Week of September 18thIt's All In Your Head | Mind Games | Digging Deeper | Week of September 18thFamily Resources | Week of September 25thIdentity Theft | Mind Games | Digging Deeper | Week of September 25th
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Family Resources | Week of October 2ndThe Comparison Game | Mind Games | Digging Deeper | Week of October 2ndFamily Resources | Week of October 9thMind Games | Digging Deeper | Week of October 9thFamily Resources | Week of October 16thWhy We’re Here: Ambassadors | Digging Deeper | Week of October 16th
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